Akatsuki Encounters
by heartcon
Summary: A collection of one-shots, short stories and possibly letters told from the point of view of Konan.
1. Chapter 1 - Suspicion

**Hello minna-san! **

**Well, I would like to explain. I'm not handling 2 major fanfics at once, I cannot do that. Mah sched is as evil as ever. Anyway, this is a collection of one-shots from Konan's point of view. **

**I'll be adding stuff here if I get any ideas, maybe you guys could write our great Konan-sama letters? No? Yes? Maybe? This is primarily for like, an excuse if I get a bad case of writer's block on Naruto : New Life, New Generation, maybe I can write here so as to not bore you guys to death waiting for the next chapter xD**

**I just wanted to point out how awesome Konan is. SHE'S SO FRICKIN COOL! I LOVE YOU KONAN-SAMA ~ And again, I would like to point out how much I love the Akatsuki. Such awesome badasses. It's a shame Konoha 11 started killing them off…Mhmm.. I can totally see myself writing a major Konan fic in the future. I'll finish NLNG ( Can this be the acronym for my other fic?) first.**

**Anyways, I've made you read my intro too long and suffer from my fangirl (bi?) tendencies, so let's carry on, shall we? I'm sorry if you don't get mah humor. Or if there is any humor at all. **

**Rate and review, everyone!**

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**Suspicion**

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A beautiful misty morning, some peace and quiet, a cup of tea in one hand, a book on the other. Ah, this is the life.

Well, not exactly. There's still a warring world of hateful ninjas and…..Konan, don't you dare think about work right now.

I took a sip from my teacup, and turned the page of the book.

Life in this new generation of Akatsuki is both quiet and loud. For me, at least. Of course, Nagato will occasionally ask me to do a mission or raid, and watch over Amegakure whenever he's gone. But most of the time he wants me to do his paperwork. To be honest, Nagato, if you can listen to my thoughts right now, which you probably are doing, I've already told you off, not once, but thrice and every time you look at me with a blank expression. Seriously? I'm not one to agitate over these things but still…

Oh Nagato. You make me fuss. Over your health, work, and your dreams.

Anyway, today is a nice, quiet day. So far. Itachi and Kisame are on a mission and Kakuzu is out bounty hunting. The rest can stay quiet and grant me a morning of beautiful silence.

"Oi! Hidan, you bastard! Give me back my clay, un! It's not a plaything, un!"

I spoke too soon.

"Fuck off, Deidara!"

I set my teacup gently on the coffee table and left the book on the armchair. Silently walking, I saw Deidara and Hidan fighting…again, in front of Sasori's room who probably was not going to be happy due to the noise.

"I didn't do anything to your stupid scythe, un! What the hell is wrong with you, un? FUCK OFF, UN!"

When I first heard Deidara's manner of speech, or maybe it can be already called an impediment, I found it cute. But of course I did not tell him so. Nagato warned me about not rubbing my femininity all over the place, and I knew Deidara would not find his manner of speech 'cute'.

"Yeah, I know that. I just wanted to point out how gay your shitty clay are, even gayer than Sasori's dolls!"

Wrong move, Hidan.

Sasori emerged from his room.

"Eto..Sasori no danna? Need anything, un?"

Sasori mercilessly gassed the two, making them collapse. He then proceeded to drag them into his room.

Curiosity killed the cat, so they say. I'm not a cat, I'm a S-class ninja. So I approached the door, and knocked once. Sasori opened the door, his emotionless eyes staring at me.

"What do you need, Konan?" He asked me with a raised brow. Sasori was rather polite to me compared to his loud partner.

"I was curious as to why did you drag the two in your room? Knowing you, you would leave them in the corridor."

"For the meantime they are my test subjects to certain poison I have, call it a potion if you will. I suppose they will be here for about several hours until I actually give them the antidote, or it wears off completely."

Interesting. "Oh? And what potion is that?"

"Aphrodisiac."

I found this encounter absolutely suspicious and horrifying.

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**Hehehe ~ No, I am not a Yaoi fan. **

**What do you think will happen after Sasori administers the aphrodisiac? xD Any _evil_ ideas, anyone? :D**

**Thanks for reading ~**


	2. Chapter 2 - Dinner

**Hello everyone!**

**Me here ^^ Here's a new chapter for all of you :)**

**Hope you enjoy. As I said before, I won't update this regularly.**

**Please rate and review!  
**

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**Dinner**

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Nagato, why do you condemn me?

This morning Nagato ordered me to eat dinner with all of the Akatsuki, while he was away.

Normally the rest of the members go and eat outside or in their rooms, and most of the time the Akatsuki don't exactly gather together in one place.

But on this rare occasion, all of us are in one place this evening, and Nagato wanted make sure that the base does not get destroyed.

I, as the only female in the Akatsuki is subjected to cook for them, so at twilight I head into the kitchen to start cooking.

My culinary skills were not extraordinary, just enough to feed and to not poison by accident. Nagato once asked me as to how good am I at cooking, I told him that, and he did not look reassured.

After cooking I set the table and served the food, before proceeding to call the others for dinner. Now this is going to be interesting.

Kisame was the first one to barge in, Itachi walking after him. As usual, the two were not late. Kakuzu came next, sitting down quietly. Kakuzu was one of the people who glared at everything, and he was doing it now.

Sasori and Zetsu won't come, for Sasori is a puppet, and Zetsu disposes, or more specifically, eats dead bodies.

I heard fighting by the staircase, and guess who? Deidara and Hidan. Surprise, surprise. I sat down in my chair, expecting nothing but the worst.

The two practically crashed into the dining area, still fighting. Sighing, Itachi broke his chopsticks and muttered an 'itadakimasu' before proceeding to eat.

Kisame did the same, while Kakuzu glared at Hidan.

"You better sit down and shut up. Or else."

Hidan tsked and sat down rather noisily, pissed at Kakuzu. He then gave Deidara the finger.

"Fuck you too." Deidara sat in his seat.

Nagato specifically arranged the dining seating, so as to cause the least possible destruction. The dining table was a rectangular one. Hidan sat on one end, Itachi on the other. If you enter the room from the door, which was behind Itachi; on the left side sat Deidara, who was next to Itachi. Nagato did this as to shut Deidara up. On Deidara's right, there sat Kisame, as Kisame had no quarrel with Deidara and the latter occasionally talks to him.

On the other side, Kakuzu sat next to Itachi's left. I sit next to Kakuzu.

Anyway, it was a bit quiet, thankfully. I munched my food in peace, at least for a second.

"What were you fighting about?" Kisame asked Deidara in a low voice, but of course Hidan heard him.

Hidan replied first, with food in his mouth. "Deidara threw out my Jashin books and stuff and whatever, so I tried to sacrifice him to Jashin."

In my opinion, chasing Deidara down the stairs and verbal threats were not enough a sacrifice to Jashin. Not even a good try as a S-class wanted ninja.

Deidara objected. "I DID NOT THROW OUT YOUR STUPID JASHIN BOOKS. I ALREADY TOLD YOU, ITACHI DID IT!"

Oh Deidara, are you that stupid? If Sasori were here, he would have shut you up, and most likely saved your life, or at least your dignity.

Itachi coughed. "Excuse me?"

Kakuzu and Kisame stayed quiet, eyeing the situation with particular malice and interest. Nagato would find it appalling to think we had such a stupid member in terms of body language and social skills.

Hidan was proving to be as idiotic as Deidara. "Oi, Itachi. You threw out my books? I…uh…" Hidan looked as if he was trying to find the words, or most likely the courage to say the words. "I'll kill you!" Hidan threw a knife at Itachi. Well, that was rather disappointing, and a stupid move.

Kisame smirked, amused. I was, as well.

Itachi stopped the knife in midair. Closing and opening his eyes, he cast a genjutsu upon Deidara and Hidan. He then continued to eat, acting as if nothing happened.

Deidara and Hidan, went perfectly still, thankfully. The rest of us continued eating our dinner.

After eating, Kakuzu and Kisame dumped their plates in the sink. Itachi remained, staring at the two.

"What should I do with them, Konan?" I, as Nagato's right hand, do have authority over most of the members. Itachi wasn't one of them, but he is respectful.  
"Put them back in the real world, and I'll take care of them. You may go." I waved him away. Once he left, Deidara and Hidan immediately moved.

"OH THANK JASHIN! I'm back!" Hidan exclaimed, stretching.

"I'll never fuck with Itachi like that. Ever. Again."

"Oi Deidara, I thought you had 'countlessly trained your eye for genjutsu, one to counter that of an Uchiha' and all that shit?"

"I was unprepared." Deidara scowled, his pride hurt.

"The both of you, are you done eating?" I asked. I was about to wash the dishes, after all.

"Oh? Not yet, Konan. Wait, please." Deidara then proceeded to actually eat.

"Eh, Konan? Wait for a moment, seriously. Don't be a bitch." Hidan started stuffing food in his mouth.

"I was not being a 'bitch', Hidan." I went into paper form, and surrounded Hidan with paper.

It took Hidan a second before realizing he was wrapped in paper. "OI! Konan, sorry…You were not being a bitch, you asked nicely, now please take your paper off me!"

I went back into my normal self, the paper that wrapped Hidan gone. Deidara smirked.

Once the two were finished eating, they dumped their plates in the sink, along with everything else.

"Thank you. Now go, the both of you, before I call Itachi to cast another genjutsu on you. And no fighting, at least for tonight, please."

"Yes, Konan." The two said in unison, and then head upstairs.

Hmph. Controlling them was nice.

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**HOW WAS IT? ^^**

**And no, I DON'T HAVE A ITAKONAN or whatever you call that pairing. I ship Nagato and Konan :) **

**Hope you guys review, review, review, and don't forget to rate too! **

**Thanks for reading!**


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